Decades Spent In Labour – Mere Moments Spent In Business School

“You can never work hard enough”, that’s what my Father used to tell me. He would often return late from the metal works, his grey overalls covered in grease and dirt, with that strange smell of burning that followed him wherever he went.

“Life is only worth living if you’re working for it. Without work, we are pointless. Without a purpose in life, what’s to stop us drinking ourselves to death?” He would always say that with a glint in his eye, before cracking open the first of three bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale.

I felt differently.

I thought a life spent in work was pointless. Working for the sole purpose of survival, left me cold in the stomach. I wanted more than that. I didn’t want to find myself at the age of 60, miserably sipping down Ale every night, disapproving of my foppish son’s attempt at becoming an artist.

That’s why I’m now putting my life’s work on sale!

All these one of a kind pieces can be viewed in person at the studio, and I’m more than happy to negotiate prices.


Coke Can That I Drank On A Thursday


Drank in haste and crushed in anger, as the guilt of thousand slave labourers bore into my precious skull. This can is a symbol for the contradiction that lies at the heart of all men and now it’s cheaper than ever!

WAS: £200 NOW: £175


My Science Book From When I Was Ten


Misinformation and misconceptions run abound in this meaty volume of not-so-true facts. School was never my bag, and this book is a real testament to that. Learn that for yourself, for even less now at this reduced price! 

 WAS: £85 NOW: £60


A Wardrobe Without Clothes


An object without purpose, it’s arms wide open embrace the fibrous creations that it was built to store. Once used for storing clothes, briefly re-purposed into a live-in space when I was between jobs for a summer. 

WAS: £345 NOW: £305


An American TV Guide From The Noughties That I Found In April


Providing me with more entertainment and company; in my many hours of need, than I care to mention. This TV Guide has seen things, dark things, real things. Gaze into its glossy pages and lose yourself, at 50% less than before.

WAS: £60 NOW: £30


Parking Fine Which I Unpaid Along With My Maintenance Payments To My Ex-Wife

She can take my house, she can take my children, she can take my dog – but she can’t make me pay for this parking ticket. With luck she’s still receiving reminder letters about this one, as the car was registered in her name at the time. Capture the anger, at it’s cheapest price yet!

WAS: £45 NOW: £30